Uncertainty can be challenging to many of us, because we have this habit of wanting to know what's happening, what’s round the corner. We want to feel like we're in control to a certain level.
Unfortunately much of life is beyond our control, and when we are in this uncertain state we find ourselves drawn to more levels of feeling outside of our control through newspapers, social media, the world around us, which leads to increased uncertainty and overwhelm.
There is an answer to this and that is to stop looking outside of YOU for control. You can only control your actions, behaviours, feelings, reactions – those are what you can control. Everything outside of that is beyond our control.
When this is recognised and acted upon on a conscious level, in present moment time, then you create change for yourself, and you discover that uncertainty becomes easier and easier to deal with.
And this leads to your confidence levels increasing, know that you can try things, and it doesn’t matter if you fail, or fall, because you use them as a learning experience.
I have started using Equine Gestalt Coaching when working with clients who are horse owners and horse riders who are struggling with a lack of confidence, uncertainty around their horses and in the saddle, fear, anxiety and feeling like they have no control over anything including their horse.
“How do I deal with this?” is a question I so often hear.
Dealing with uncertainty, means to have an acceptance that certain things are beyond our control, even with our horses. So what can you control.
Well you can control your anxiety through your breathing, you can bring yourself into the present moment, expand your peripheral vision and bring your full awareness to you and your horse and whatever it is you are doing.
You can be curious about what your horse is trying to tell you as you both engage with each other and you can monitor your thoughts and ego throughout this process.
You can bring your awareness to your horse’s body language, breathing, discover how to body scan both yourself and your horse. You can learn how to monitor your stress and anxiety levels, and how to reduce them so that you can stay present and stay with your horse.
When clients tell me that they have had a serious incident with their horse which has knocked their confidence and they are now living in the “what ifs” and “I don’t knows” I often ask the what were they thinking about when they met with their horse on the day of the incident. We sort of go back in time and slowly go through the incident – what was going on within the person, what were they thinking about, where was their attention, what was their intention, how was their body. You get the idea.
I going to say that at least 95% of the time the rider was elsewhere in mind, body and spirit and it’s only when they recap and really look at the situation through non judgment questioning that they realise that they missed many cues and questions that their horse was communicating to them, or they were not aware of what their horse was clearly aware of hence the spook, the bucking or the rearing.
Coming into the present, really coming into the present from a mind, body and spirit level with your horse means that your brain really learns how to read current situations and to not freak out.
Your brain learns that OK the sky's not falling if something goes wrong.
It actually builds that emotional and mental muscle that you have because you have to keep in mind that your brain is a muscle.
So the more use it the more effective it comes the more efficient it becomes the better it is at handling the unknown.
It can be challenging at first but always keep in mind that everything you do is challenging just look at when you were first learning to walk, to run, to drive, to ride your horse.
But as you did certain things it became easier and easier to deal with certainty is no different.
So as you start going through uncertainty let go of the resistance you hold onto and know that the more you do, the easier it becomes – like driving your car, or learning how to trot with your horse.
And if you want some support – get in touch and book an Equine Gestalt Coaching Session for you and your horse.
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